Soul Survivor

Kathleen Hodge Psychic Medium

A little bit of history about me. I grew up in a small one stoplight town in the country loving the outdoors, and spending most of my childhood days there playing, exploring, and discovering. I loved nature and could spend a whole day blazing trails through the woods or being on the farm at my friends with the horses, cows, chickens, and pigs.  I learned to play the clarinet in the fourth grade continued throughout my school years eventually into the Army band.

When I Found I Was Empathic: As I was growing up I was empathic though at the time I didn’t know what it was. I knew I could pick up on other feelings, sometimes even thoughts. It affected me, and I at times didn’t even know why I would suddenly go from being happy to angry or depressed without any reason.

I left the little town for the military three weeks after graduating high school. I had children, got married (a few times), got divorced, was a survivor of domestic violence, went through a long hard-fought custody battle which followed my last divorce. During that time, I began to awaken. I started seeing and hearing Spirits. I also was able to see Angels. Then as I have always said “life happened” and I shut it down. 

Life Takes A Turn: Fast forward to August 2013. One early morning driving to work I received a phone call from the sheriff’s department.   The phone call I’m speaking of is the one a parent never wants to get or ever believes they would receive. My youngest son, Ben was taken to our local trauma center, and 24 hours after receiving that phone call I was having my son removed off life support. I was in a fog.  Everything seemed so surreal. I was now planning Ben’s funeral when just six days prior he had been in my kitchen talking with me cooking dinner and eating spaghetti.

The Dark Night of the Soul:  Devastation does not even begin to describe how I was feeling. At times I felt as though I wasn’t even in my own body. The pain was so excruciating my chest literally hurt. My heart was shredded into so many pieces you could say it became more like dust. It was like it became non-existent. It was destroyed.  It was now a enormous wound deeply embedded into my Soul. 

How could be happening to me? WHY did this happen!  Needless to say, during the next few years following my son’s passing, my long-term relationship of twelve years with the man I loved ended.  My oldest son decided to cut off all contact with me which included being able to see my grandson. The reasons I am still not clear about. I believe my grieving, as well as some guilt he has felt regarding his brother’s death has helped to contribute to this estrangement among other things. Friends that I thought who my friends were slowly disappeared. My family lived 700 miles away, so they didn’t visit. Phone calls were sparse, and when they did, they avoided speaking about Ben or asking how I was doing.  I tried different support groups, and individual therapy both really didn’t do too much for me. By then I found myself living in isolation for two years. I could have died in that house and nobody would have known. No one really called, no one really came over. It was just me and 2 cats.

Picking Up The Pieces: I was so far down there was nowhere to look but up and that’s exactly what ended up happening. I cried out for help to a Higher Power whom I choose to call God.  It was a matter of life or death. My life or my death. God knew I had so many questions surrounding my son’s death, and I wanted so badly to talk to him and know he was doing alright.  Then the thought came to me to contact a Medium. I have always believed our loved ones could communicate with us from the other side, and because Ben (my son) was willing to step forward the Medium was able to connect me with him through Spirit.  This was just one of the many steps which began my healing process.

God heard me He was there. He was always there. Even when I didn’t believe his hand was working in my life I can now look back and see His fingerprints everywhere.  I just needed to believe and trust. Since then God has sent me on a path of healing through Him and His word, through energy work, through being of service to others by volunteering, and doing my psychic/mediumship readings.

So, you see I can definitely understand the horrible pain of losing someone you love, but I also know you may find the same comfort, peace, and guidance I experienced when using a Medium, Just remember, the bond of Love can never be broken not even through death.